QUICK BUT BLAH SCRAMBLED EGG

Sunday, February 1, 2009

QUICK BUT BLAH SCRAMBLED EGG

Ingredients
1 large egg
1 teaspoon milk
1 pinch of salt
1 tsp butter for frying

First as always you have to heat the frying pan on a setting just above medium if you are using a non-stick pan. Do not add the butter yet.

In large mixing bowl, whisk the egg with the milk, pepper and salt. Beat vigorously for 2 minutes.

Put the butter and very little oil, maybe a quarter of a teaspoon in the frying pan and when the butter melts add the beaten egg mixture.

The tendency is to start stirring madly. Don’t. Wait until the first hint of setting begins. Using a spatula or a flat wooden spoon and push the egg mixture towards the centre of the pan and tilt the pan to spread the liquid portion evenly.

Keep shoving the egg mixture towards the middle until all the liquidy stuff is not liquidy any more. Flip the whole mixture over and cook for about 10 to 15 seconds. Break the large pieces of egg with your spatula. Transfer scrambled egg to plate.

Now you can add many things to the scrambled egg if you want to be adventurous, chopped sausage, dinner leftovers chopped fine, anything.

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Cooking's easy

Any fool can cook. All you need to know are a few basics. There’s this grand conspiracy to put the fear of God into those who are setting up a household for the first time. They are made to believe that they have to buy expensive ovens, hobs, freezers, grills, mixers, grinders, blenders and what not. It’s all nonsense. Cooking programmes on television and cookbooks make me laugh today. But I can tell you solemnly, I was not laughing when I started out. I sweated and slaved over a hot stove for three hours in the morning for lunch and three hours in the evening to fix dinner. Now? I cook once in three days and good stuff too.

Honestly just look at the cooking programmes. You have one guy who travels around the world cooking basic stuff, but putting such a spin on it, it makes you think cooking is impossible. You have chefs that arrange some lumps of stuff, top it with a sprig of some green herb, which you cannot eat anyways and the whole multicoloured mound sits in a puddle of vomit coloured liquid. And that’s supposed to be haute-cuisine. Pah, is what I say. Then there’s a woman who drives me round the bend, her job is to make food look and sound sexy, so she uses words like gleaming, glistening, plump, luscious and she gives the viewer this come-hither look that is really silly. Then she wears a tight dress with half her fat chest falling out, disregarding the fact that when you tadka anything the frying mustard can and will come flying on to you, cleavage or no cleavage. In a kitchen, it’s best to cover as much as possible. She cooks Indian food, because obviously it is the tastiest and also the easiest tasty food to cook. Notice I said tasty food, because English food is the easiest to cook, just sprinkle salt and pepper some vinegar and pop it in the oven or boil the stuff and voila, an English meal is ready. Pah, is what I say again. For our pampered Indian palates English food is something you would not feed to a stray dog.

So Lesson Number One put all those cook books away for now. Bring them out when you know your kitchen like the back of your hand. This is not a cook book. This is a beginner’s guide through the maze of your kitchen. It removes the mystery and fear and any feelings of inferiority those books give the beginner. You need to eat, so you cook. Nothing more. Nothing less.

For Kim n Danielle - Any Fool Can Cook

Sunday, February 1, 2009